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  Both men were quiet for a moment. Mr. Jackman waited for the expected question, the same question they all asked. Ted’s voice shook. “Why, I paid you, I paid you a great deal of money?”

  “Indeed, Mr. Anderson, a great deal of money. Money that will serve a great many causes and we are very appreciative.”

  “The other two, they’ll know, they paid you too.”

  “Yes, yes they did and when they wake, in good time, they will be as you are now.”

  “And exactly how is that?”

  “Facing your demons Mr. Anderson, making restitution, as it were.”

  “Who are you to judge me? Who the hell are you to exact restitution from me?” Ted struggled to stay on his feet, his face contorted with rage and fear. Mr. Jackman watched the drug take over and Ted slid into a crouch, his legs numb and crumpled beneath him. “There never were any kids for sale in that catalog were there?”

  “No, Mr. Anderson, there most certainly were not.”

  Ted’s eyes closed as he slumped over on the floor of his cabin.

  Jackman studied the pig at his feet and wondered how this damaged piece of refuse could stand to be in his own skin. He wondered how a man could become so evil, as to order human beings from a catalog just as one orders a meal from a menu.

  Jackman studied Ted Anderson crumpled on the floor of the cabin and another thought came to mind, the damage his own soul took through the work he chose to do. The work he was compelled to do, the work he knew he would always do regardless of the law or the condition of his soul.

  Three interrogations would take place tomorrow morning inside the dank walls of Terrible Tilly. However, tonight after dark, the ship’s small outboard would take out the trash. The beautiful yacht would glide away in the dead of night and soon a new set of buyers would be wined and dined aboard, Duplicity.

  * * * * *

  CHAPTER 2

  SARAH

  BOSTON 2010

  Sarah Knight stood at the massive windows of the penthouse overlooking the park. People spoke in hushed tones amongst themselves, occasionally glancing her way and sadly shaking their heads. Sarah did not hear any of their quiet conversations; she was lost in her memories.

  Last week, she and Greg spent days secluded at their cottage on the Vineyard. They left the cottage to walk to the Black Dog restaurant for dinner a couple of times and to pick up some wine for their cozy nights by the fire.

  Today, she kissed Greg for the last time. How is that possible, Sarah thought, how can any of this be happening? Sarah’s arms were wrapped around the waist of her simple black dress and she felt cold and empty and completely alone in this room full of people. People she and Greg knew and spent time with as a couple. Now, she just wanted them all to go away so she could lie down, to sleep, and to forget that Greg was gone and nothing would ever be the same again.

  “Sarah, it’s been three weeks since the funeral. We need to talk. The estate needs to be settled.” Ben balanced the phone against his left ear while thumbing through Greg’s will. Ben had been Greg’s lawyer, his friend and very much a father figure to him since Greg’s own parents had died many years ago.

  “I know Ben. It just felt too overwhelming, too final I guess. I’ve been avoiding this and I’m sorry. This is hard for you too… we both loved him. I know you have other responsibilities and you want to wrap this up.”

  “No, that’s not true Sarah, I’m happy to give you all the time you need, really, it’s just that you’ve been avoiding your friends as well and people are starting to worry.”

  “Well they needn’t. I’ve just needed time to adjust to being alone, but it’s so hard, Ben. I actually woke up this morning and I thought, I need to tell Greg… and then it hit me, Greg is gone, I can’t tell him anything ever again. I feel like I’m going crazy.”

  “Sarah, what you’ve described is very normal. You’re going through the grieving process and it’s going to take a long time. Maybe you should talk to someone, a professional in grief counseling or something. I could ask around if you want me to.”

  “No Ben, thanks though. Set up a time and I’ll come in and take care of Greg’s estate.”

  Sarah knew she and Greg had been more than comfortable, financially. Sarah knew Greg was part owner in a lucrative software design company, a company that designed very popular games.

  What she didn’t know was Greg’s share of the company was worth millions and his partners wanted to buy her out. She had no interest in trying to stay on in a company she had no ability in, so she sold her interest and Ben helped her set up her own investments over the next few months.

  “It’s been six months Sarah; do you have any plans for your future?”

  “Well, Ben, I believe you’ve helped me plan for my future very well.”

  “I mean do you have any plans to travel or get involved in something. You know plans to move on. It’s ok to do that, Sarah.”

  “Yes, I know its ok and yes I have been thinking about something but it’s pretty drastic and they say you shouldn’t make any drastic changes for at least a year after you lose someone.”

  “Who are they?”

  “What?”

  “Who are, they, that’s always offering unsolicited advice?”

  “Oh, the experts I guess, why?”

  “Because, Sarah, you are the only one who can decide when you are ready to move on.” Ben smiled as he put the phone to his other ear.

  Tears welled in her eyes and she nodded to herself. Yes, she was ready. Ready to begin again, but first she would have to go back, back to the beginning, to Seaside. The first place she had ever felt safe and happy, until her world fell apart.

  * * * * *

  CHAPTER 3

  SEASIDE: THE OREGON COAST

  1990

  Sarah slammed her locker, she was late again and her psychology teacher was a vicious, angry spinster who enjoyed making public examples of anyone who shows up late for her class.

  Like most sixteen year olds, Sarah had an aversion to being singled out in front of a classroom full of peers, especially when she was the new girl in school and not quite sure of where she fit in with the various groups or clicks.

  The jocks had spotted her from day one and some were making bets on who would hook up with her first. Sarah didn’t know that but the cheerleaders did and they were making their own bets as to who’s boyfriend would stray first. When you look like Sarah and you are the new girl in a small school, you’re stock is raised by the jocks looking for a new conquest.

  Robbie was little for a jock, but real quick and he had an unbeatable jump shot. “Are you going to the pit on Friday?”

  Sarah jumped when he spoke to her; she hadn’t heard Robbie come up behind her. She’d seen him around and knew enough about his standing to know he was popular with just about everyone. “I don’t know, what’s the pit?”

  “It’s where we hang out. You know, with a keg and loud music.”

  “Oh, who’s going to be there?”

  “Everyone that matters, you want me to pick you up?”

  “I’ll let you know, thanks…I got to go.” Sarah gathered her books from the locker and headed to her next class.

  Sarah wanted to fit in more than anything. She had lived in more states than anyone she had ever known, not that she had known anyone for very long. Her father always had a new plan, a new adventure to set out on, and that meant the family was always on the move.

  Sarah had listened to her parents talk about Seaside many times. Her dad was a good carpenter and he was sure he could make a lot of money building condos on the coast. Building condos would take a long time, Sarah was sure they would finally stay somewhere long enough to enjoy friends and maybe even long enough to have a boyfriend.

  Robbie was cute but Sarah just wasn’t very attracted to him. She could go to the party with him but what if he thought that meant they were together. If Sarah turned him down, she was afraid that she would miss her chance to fit in. Friday was two days away. She didn’t know what to do.

  At lunch, Sarah sat alone for about five minutes before Chuck Reynolds sat down across from her. “Hey, Sarah, right?” Chuck knew her name. “I’m Chuck. Where’d you move from?”

  Sarah knew Chuck was major and if he was interested in someone, then they were definitely in. “Alaska.”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “No, it is in North America you know.”

  “Yea, but isn’t there about one person per square mile of land?”

  “Yea, so?”

  “I just never met anyone from Alaska before, did you like it there?”

  “I don’t know I wasn’t there long enough to find out.”

  “Well listen, I’m going to the pit on Friday and I just thought you might want to go.”

  “Yea, I want to go.”

  “Great, a bunch of us are going in my ride. I’ll pick you up around 7:00.”

  “Great, thanks, I live…”

  “I know where you live. It’s a small town, remember.”

  Now all she had to do was clear it with her parents, not that she could mention the pit or the keg. She’d think of something before Friday.

  Friday night was the beginning of Sarah’s first real home, her first real school and her first real friends. She had never been happier in any place they had ever lived before moving to Seaside.

  Even her dad seemed to settle in as he developed big plans to build his first condo. Before long, he had a business partner and financing to begin his new project. The months flew by and Sarah’s family finally had a place to call home.

  Chuck was the first boyfriend Sarah had had and while he was fun to be with Sarah just wasn’t ready to get too close or at least not as close as Chuck wanted to get. During summer b
reak Sarah worked as a bus girl at Harrah’s, a very up-scale restaurant along the turn-a-round, close to the beach. Chuck surfed and got close with one or two college girls enjoying their break at the beach.

  Come September, Sarah looked forward to her junior year and soon joined a couple of clubs. She wasn’t even too torn up about Chuck straying, other guys were already lining up to make their move. Sarah was going to take her time and enjoy the attention.

  Homecoming turned out to be the best week of her life. She couldn’t wait to get to school each day to be with her friends and Sarah had just started going out with Dan, a tall, very good looking senior.

  Dan was a defensive guard on the football team and not pushy like Chuck had been. Sarah found herself really falling for Dan and she hoped he felt the same way about her. Weeks passed and Dan became a familiar guest at her house.

  Weekends were rarely spent with their friends from school. They didn’t party at the pit and even having a beer was seldom. They were happy to spend their time talking about future goals and dreams. The possibilities were endless for them.

  Talking usually turned to kissing and soon the kissing was not going to be enough. It was only a matter of time before she would decide that sex was right because Dan was right, right for her. Sarah didn’t tell him any of this because she knew her resolve to wait a little longer would dissolve the moment she shared her thoughts with him. The moment Dan’s mouth found hers, the rush of her blood coursing through her knocked any common sense right out of her head.

  On Friday, Sarah got home and saw a dark sedan in the drive. Her father was also home which was very unusual for 3:30 in the afternoon on a weekday. When she entered the house, Sarah could tell something was very wrong. Her mother had been crying and her father looked worried, no scared. He looked very scared. Who were these guys and what was going on? Before she could form her question, Sarah’s mother quickly came to her and took her arm.

  “Sarah, go to your room, please!”

  “But…”

  “Now, Sarah!” Her mother ushered her to her room and closed the door. When she heard her mother’s footsteps quickly retreat back down the hall, she put her ear to the door, but could only hear bits and pieces. Occasionally a voice would raise and she would hear her father’s denials, but denials of what?

  When her mother finally came to get her, she knew, they were moving again and nothing could have devastated her more than losing the only home she felt she had ever had.

  * * * * *

  CHAPTER 4

  SEASIDE: 2011

  Portland International was not as big as Sarah had imagined it would have been. Luggage was across from car rental and she had everything wrapped up in minutes. With map in hand, Sarah maneuvered the little rental through traffic and finally hit Sunset highway to 101.

  The scenery was more beautiful than she had remembered. Breathtaking glimpses of glittering expanses of azure water spread before her.

  The road hugged cliffs so high she felt herself tremble as she took the curves. At Otter Bay, she had to pull over and get out of the car. Otter Bay was nothing more than a wide space in the road for a scenic view and photo op.

  The view made Sarah want to cry and she almost did until a mini-van full of hyperactive kids and their cranky parents pulled into the parking space beside her car.

  The side door flew open and kids poured out as parents scrambled to keep the kids out of the highway. Sarah watched in amazement as the parents quickly lined the kids up at the guardrail and the dad began snapping photos.

  “Do you mind,” the father asked Sarah, as he held the digital camera out to her?

  “No, no, I’d be glad to,” Sarah stepped forward taking the camera.

  “Just look through here and press there and you’re done,” the father instructed.

  Sarah took the shot and handed the camera back. “Are you on vacation,” she asked, smiling at the kids as they squirmed to get loose from the grip their parents had on them?

  “No, thank God,” the mother exclaimed! “We’re going down the coast to Garibaldi. My parents live there and we’re taking the kids fishing.”

  “Fishing, fishing,” the kids squealed in unison.

  “Well, have fun.” Sarah stepped back giving the parents an out for a quick exit and they took her up on it. They were no more anxious to get back on the road than Sarah was for them to leave. She smiled and waved as the mini-van pulled back onto the 101 highway.

  Sarah wanted another minute or two to breathe in the misty cool air coming off the ocean. Across the road from the scenic viewpoint was a water fountain offering fresh spring water from the mountain behind it. She remembered drinking from one of these fountains when she was a kid. Her parents had stopped for picture taking along the coast when they moved to Seaside with her. Sarah hurried across the road and pressed the fountain lever. The water was ice cold and nearly froze the back of her throat but it was so great, she smiled at the good memory it brought back.

  The rest of the trip could have taken forever if Sarah hadn’t forced herself to refrain from stopping every ten minutes to take in the incredible beauty of the ocean and cliffs spread before her. Did she just appreciate beauty more as an adult, because she couldn’t remember being this infatuated with the sea when she was a kid.

  “I can’t believe the cannon’s still there,” Sarah said out loud to herself as she passed the turn that leads to Cannon Beach. Cannon Beach is a fantastic little beach town full of artists and writers and one or two actors that have beach cottages by the sea. The locals say that the cannon washed up on the beach over a hundred and fifty years ago and that is how the village got its name.

  Haystack Rock came to mind. Sarah had loved climbing around the base of Haystack when the tide was out in Cannon Beach. Starfish, crabs and other creatures were caught in small pools of water in the crevices around the massive rock jutting out of the sea.

  The tourists loved coming to Cannon Beach and to Seaside, but the locals were as much a part of the sea as the creatures caught in the tide pools. Once you’re captured by the magnificent vastness of the ocean and the scent of the sea, it becomes part of whom you are and whom you want to be. No other experience can match or fulfill what the sea has to offer your senses. Coming back to Seaside, coming back to the sea, was coming home to Sarah.

  Seaside had grown so much Sarah hardly recognized it. Many of the old stores were gone and new ones had taken their place. No one would have remembered Sarah but the faces of those she had been forced to leave behind were still clear in her mind. Maybe because she had held on so tightly to the faces of the place she had felt so connected to. Maybe because her parents had refused to allow her to stay in touch with any of her friends once they had left Seaside so quickly and under such stressful circumstances.

  Sarah overheard her parents talking once about Seaside. The bits and pieces she overheard scared and hurt her. Before then she had never had a reason to feel shame toward her parents and certainly not shame for her own name.

  That day long ago, the day she came home from school to find a dark sedan in the drive with government tags on the license plate was the beginning of years of moves and dingy little apartments.

  Finally, the stress and unhappiness of the family grew so thick that her mother packed their things and moved them both to live with her grandparents in Boston. Sarah’s mother resumed her maiden name and changed Sarah’s as well. Both she and her mother went by the name of Crawford after that. Her father visited occasionally but eventually stopped. After a few years, Sarah learned he had drunk himself to death.

  After graduation, Sarah worked during the day in a little antique store called, Three Honest Ladies. At night, she took classes at the local college. Photo Journalism was a passion of hers as was history, her studies helped occupy her time.

  Sarah wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her future and that turned out to be mute because she met Greg when he came into the store one day. Greg was looking for antique doorknobs for a massive mahogany door he had purchased through an estate auction the week before.